I talked to a friend a few weeks ago that said to me, "Seeing you on instagram makes me want to take a nap...you're always doing something!" And that's true, BUT there are LOTS of things that I don't get to. I choose to work a lot because I love my job, and I love my team. However, I'm definitely not a perfectionist at home. We have take-out almost every night for dinner, and I pay someone to do our laundry every week On the days that I workout after work, I change clothes as fast as I can when I walk in the door and wait to shower until the kids are in bed, because I don't want to miss that time with Gus and Marlowe. Oftentimes on the way to school Gus asks me if I can pick him up, and I almost always tell him that I can't because I'll be working. And there are times when I'm playing with Marlowe that she calls me Cece (her nickname for our wonderful nanny, Chelsi,) and then quickly corrects herself with "Mama." If I said my heart didn't sink a little each time those things happen I'd be lying. If I said it didn't sink while I'm typing this I'd also be lying. All that to say, I'm not "doing it all." I have an incredible team at work that makes all my ideas come to life, and I have people I love and trust at home to help me when I run out of time..or steam. I stayed sick for a month, and I'm finally feeling better because I reluctantly took two days off to rest. Amazing how much better your body works if you sleep;) On a recent podcast of The Daily Hope with Rick Warren, he talked about finding our strengths that God gave us and doing the most we can with those. I'm investing in myself and my business because I want to do design for a long time, but I do have daily guilt because I miss my babies a lot of the time. So I'm 100% in when I'm with them. I know they will never doubt how important they are to me or how much I love them because that is what I pray for every single day. I pray that they will be kind, empathetic, and secure in who they are. I am constantly working on being secure in how I am and how I'm doing life. Am I doing ok? Am I doing most of it right? Is there even a "right?" I guess at the end of the day I just need to make peace with what works for our own families and keep trying to make our own unique families the happiest and healthiest they can be. xo
